Japan Sex

TORONTO (AP) -- Canada's parliament asked Japan to apologize to more than 200,000 foreign women forced into military brothels during World War II.

The nonbinding motion is an attempt to prompt the Canadian government to help educate current and future generations about the war crimes committed by the Japanese Imperial Army, left-leaning parliament member Olivia Chow said Wednesday.

"For me, this isn't crimes against 200,000 women. It's crimes against humanity, and all of the world's citizens have a responsibility to speak out against it," she said.

Historians say the army forcibly sent hundreds of thousands of women, mainly from Korea, China and the Philippines, to wartime Japanese military brothels to work as prostitutes in the 1930s and 1940s.

Along with an apology, the motion asks that Japan formally acknowledge that more than 200,000 Asian women were coerced into military sexual slavery during World War II by the Japanese Imperial Army; that it accepts responsibility for the harm and humiliation caused; and that it restores all references to the Japanese Military Sexual Slavery which have been removed from Japanese textbooks.

Japan said it regretted the vote and said it would not help bilateral relations.

Jun Yanagi, counselor at the Japanese Embassy in Ottawa, said during a press conference that Japan has "done everything it can and should do both political and legally."

Calls to the embassy for further comment were not immediately returned.

The U.S. House of Representatives and the Netherlands have passed a similar motion on the sex slaves.

Since the Japanese government acknowledged the practice in the early 1990s, leaders have repeatedly apologized over the issue. But in March, former prime minister Shinzo Abe triggered anger across Asia by saying there was no proof the women were coerced -- reflecting a view among Japan's right-wing politicians, who claim the issue has been fabricated or exaggerated.

A fund created in 1995 by the government but run independently and financed by private donations has provided a way for Japan to compensate former sex slaves without making it official. Many women, however, have rejected the money.

YOKOHAMA -- An elementary school teacher has been arrested for paying a 13-year-old girl to have sex with him in early September, police said.

Satoshi Mori, 36, a teacher at Sagamihara Municipal Kyowa Elementary School, stands accused of violating the Law for Punishing Acts Related to Child Prostitution and Child Pornography. He admitted to the allegations.

Mori paid 30,000 yen to a second-year junior high school student to have sex with him at a hotel in Yamato, Kanagawa Prefecture, on the afternoon of Sept. 2, investigators said.

Mori had got acquainted with the girl through a mobile phone matchmaking site. The incident came to light after the girl contacted the police.

SAGA -- A 42-year-old female junior high school teacher who had sex with a 16-year-old boy has been arrested, law enforcers said.

Investigators say music teacher Noriko Shimomura had sex with one of her ex-students at a hotel in Karatsu, Saga Prefecture between Tuesday and Wednesday evening, despite knowing that he was under the age of 18. They arrested her on suspicion of violating a Saga prefectural ordinance on the healthy upbringing of children.

Police said the teacher's actions were uncovered after she was stopped in a car with the student at a traffic checkpoint in Takeo, Saga Prefecture at about 5 p.m. on Wednesday. When an officer questioned them, it was learned that Shimomura's family were searching for her, and it subsequently emerged that she had been involved with the student.

The teacher reportedly admitted to the allegations against her, saying she had been in a relationship with the student from about March.

"I was with him for several days (before my arrest)," she was quoted as telling police.

Saga Municipal Board of Education officials said Shimomura had taken annual leave from the afternoon of Sept. 20, saying she was feeling unwell.

"We were surprised when we were contacted by police. We heard that she was an earnest-working teacher." (Mainichi)

News of a report in the British magazine "New Scientist," which claimed there are statistical differences in the thickness of the anterior vaginal wall (which controls the G-spot) between women who have experienced vaginal orgasm and those who haven't, traveled quickly around the world.

The report was based on study entitled "Measurement of the Thickness of the Urethrovaginal Space in Women with or without Vaginal Orgasm" by Dr. Emmanuele Jannini from the School of Sexology at the University of L'Aquila in Italy. A topic like this, with research into women's sexual reaction, is bound to attract interest. The study looked at nine women who had experienced vaginal orgasm, 11 who hadn't and compared them using ultrasonography.

The urethrovaginal space is a complex, net-like structure that encompasses blood vessels, tubular glands accompanying the urinary tract, nerve endings and the bladder outlet. The G-spot is located on the inner surface around the urethral tract and the vaginal wall, and is said to be the place where arousal is triggered. In medical terms, the G-spot is also known as Skein's glands, and unless there is a deformity, there is no reason why it should not exist. However, it is said that only 70 percent of women can confirm where their G-spot is. That shouldn't mean the G-spot doesn't exist at all, though.

It is physically impossible for a woman to find her G-spot while lying on her back. Gravity forces the body's internal organs downward and shifts the G-spot away from the entrance to the vagina. The best way for her to look for it is by sitting, squatting, or, for instance, while on the toilet. She needs to place strong, upward pressure on the upper part of her vaginal wall with one hand. At the same time, she should use her other hand to push down on her stomach in an area just above the pubic bone. If she is with a partner, the woman should lie on her belly, spread her legs and raise and twist her hips. The partner should insert two fingers while their palm is facing downward and press firmly against the inner wall of the vagina and move the fingers around in the direction of the pelvis to find the G-spot. The woman must note that it requires a considerable amount of pressure to be able to find the right place. The G-spot is not about size. Skein glands are structured like mammary glands. Just as large breasts don't mean that the amount of breast milk produced increases, so having large Skein glands doesn't necessarily mean a woman will have a lot of ejaculate.

I'd like to scientifically refute the findings of Dr. Jannini's team. Admittedly, the women involved in the study had matching ages, pregnancy rates, menstrual cycles, Body Mass Indexes (the figure used to calculate the degree of obesity) and hormone levels. But there are a few points about the study that make me have my doubts about it. Those doubts are:

1. The urethrovaginal space is measured using ultrasonography, but as I mentioned earlier this is a complex, net-like structure incorporating glands, vessels and nerves, so there is no guarantee of finding the G-spot with it.

2. Just as I always say that sex is all in the mind, so are feelings obtained from sex different from person to person. That means applying the same stimulation doesn't always mean it's going to bring about the same kind of pleasure.

3. I'm a bit worried that a sample size of 20 people is not enough.

There are also areas affecting the thickness of the urethrovaginal space that also need to be taken into consideration. These are:

1. Has the women had a Caesarian section? (There is a possibility that vaginal births may thin out the skin in the space.)

2. Is the woman into sports? (There is a possibility the amount of muscle influences results.)

3.Does she do genital training? (Does she know of Kegel exercises or is she putting them into practice?)

4. Although the women are divided into whether they have felt a vaginal orgasm or not, it doesn't mention the age or sexual experience of their partners (For instance, have they ever been with someone who has tried to make them ejaculate, though not necessarily in the way porno actor Taka Kato is proficient at making women ejaculate through the practice of shiofuki.)

5. What are their preferred sexual positions? (The G-spot is not felt easily through the missionary position, while doggy style or the woman on top work better. And it's easier for the G-spot to be found by men with smaller penises.)Although the study concludes that there is a statistical difference that shows a relationship between experience of vaginal orgasm and thickness of the skin in the urethrovaginal space, I don't think based on this research alone that it is possible to make any firm statements about the existence of the G-spot. (By Dr. Kunio Kitamura, special to the Mainichi)

Japanese not only have less sex than anyone else in the world, they also have the least interesting time in the bedroom, according to the recently released second part of British condom manufacturer Durex's survey of sex lifestyles around the world.

The survey involved 26,032 people from 26 countries around the world and Japanese ranked bottom of the pile when it came to stimulating sex lives. A global average of 50 percent, 36 percent of Chinese and 38 percent of Malaysians enjoy interesting sex, but a whopping 90 percent of Japanese said their sex lives lack stimulation.

Japanese men have an average of 14 sex partners, which is more than the global average of 13 and well above the average four of Chinese men, while women in Japan also have plenty of partners, averaging eight apiece compared to just two each in China and Malaysia.

Japanese average 34 minutes for each session of sex (including foreplay), which outlasts the French by a minute and is just two minutes less than the world average.

With boring sex and lots of sex partners, it's impossible to dismiss the idea that sexually transmitted diseases like HIV/AIDS will spread quickly.

On average, the Japanese only have sex 48 times a year, well below the world average of 103 times and a huge distance from the 164 occasions the world-leading Greeks will go at it. There are 38 percent of Japanese couples who say they have sex at least once a week and 86 percent of those partnerships say they want more. The reason why they can't have more sex even though they want it is because it's hard for them to tell their partner how they feel. Throughout the world, 58 percent of couples say they feel at ease enough with their partner to be able to talk about sex, but only 21 percent of Japanese feel good enough to do so -- not even one-third of the 69 percent of Malaysian couples that are happy to chat about nooky. Among the Japanese, 38 percent felt the best way to improve their sex lives was to spend more time with their partner, while 36 percent just wanted to enjoy life more.

What it all boils down to is that the lack of communication between couples is forcing people to take matters into their own hands -- literally. Japanese outpaced the world with experience of masturbation, with 89 percent having done it compared to the global average of 86 percent. Not only do 38 percent of Japanese masturbate weekly, while 16 percent of people across the world had a negative opinion toward the practice, only 4 percent of people in this country did so.

This survey clearly showed that Japanese desperately lack variety in the bedroom. Only 34 percent of Japanese engage in oral sex, and just 16 percent like sexy undies designed to heighten sexual excitement. Just 38 percent of Japanese try to live out their sexual fantasies, while the 40 percent who watch adult videos or read adult magazines is also low and the 4 percent who role play during sex was the lowest level in the world. On the other hand, 49 percent of Japanese have no problem with the idea of being able to buy devices to improve their sex lives at not only sex shops but also ordinary shops. People who have never used sex aids are not averse to the idea of one day doing so. Japanese vibrator use levels are well below the world average, but 25 percent are open to the idea of putting some buzz into their sex life and 16 percent are interested in playing around with lubrication. But at the moment, where 21 percent of the world's people are using vibrators and 34 percent lubrication, only 16 percent of Japanese are using vibes and 15 percent lube. When it came to orgasm gel and orgasm spray, the 23 percent of Japanese who want to try out the gel fell behind the 30 percent of the world-leading Brazilians and just 14 percent of Japanese wanted to give orgasm maintenance spray a go.

As the author of "Shiawase no Sekkusu (Delightful Sex)," I'd really love to be able to use this column to provide a stimulating message that will revolutionize passive Japanese bedrooms. (By Dr. Kunio Kitamura, special to the Mainichi)

KANOYA, Kagoshima -- A junior high school girl has accused her principal of sexually harassing her, her lawyer said.

The girl filed a criminal complaint with local police, accusing the 56-year-old principal of indecent assault.

The principal categorically denied the allegations during a press conference saying, "I have no recollection of such an incident at all. I'm considering legal action to prove that I'm innocent."

The principal called the girl to his office several times between April and May this year and fondled her body, the girl's lawyer said. In June, she accused him of inviting her to go on a drive and molesting her in the vehicle.

He acknowledged that he went on a drive with her but denied having molested her.

KASAOKA, Okayama -- A former public junior high school teacher who provided a 14-year-old schoolgirl with private lessons in her home in exchange for performing sex acts on her has been arrested, police said.

Yuichi Hatakeyama, 25, the former public junior high school teacher from Kasaoka, was arrested for breaking the Child Welfare Law.

Police said that Hatakeyama repeatedly molested his then third-year pupil on several occasions from late September last year until about Christmas Eve.

Kasaoka Board of Education officials said that Hatakeyama was employed as a public school teacher in 2005 and spent that year teaching math before moving on to teach English in 2006. He left the teaching service in March this year after his employment contract ran out.

Last month -- Feb. 26 to be precise -- I was honored with a prize at the 4th Healthy Society Awards ceremony,held at the Imperial Hotel in Tokyo. I'm sure there'd be a few people out there angry at me for dedicating this space on a public site to talk only about me, but I figure the prize is a reflection of the five years of my life that I've spent writing this column, so I hope you'll forgive me.

Healthy Society Prizes are awarded for outstanding effort by an individual to build a healthier society; for those who have produced effective support for society as a whole or a particular group within or outside of Japan; to encourage consideration for charity or benevolence toward those in need of help; to offer incentive to those who show kindness to others or maintain the wonderful Japanese tradition of volunteering to help others and to hold up as a symbol those who are irreproachable and stand as an example of someone society can respect.

When I learned I had received the prize, a friend mailed me saying, "Kitamura, I've looked up what 'irreproachable' means in the dictionary," joking that perhaps I didn't quite fit the bill. I've got to admit, I was pretty stunned, too. Johnson and Johnson and the Japan Nursing Association started these prizes in 2004, with this year being the fourth time they have been presented.

Incidentally, the official reason I received the prize was: "For many years spent working to improve women's health, prevent abortion and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, as well as providing sex education seminars across Japan. For numerous successes in actively engaging the Diet, governments, schools, the media and academic societies and for long efforts lobbying for approval for low dose oral contraception (the Pill)." The ceremony itself was like being at the Academy Awards, with Their Imperial Highnesses Prince and Princess Hitachi, prominent politicians and business people and important figures from the private sector among the more than 400 in attendance. Recipients were permitted to give a thank you speech, but told we would be strictly limited to three minutes. Please allow me to use this column to present the speech I gave, reproduced below.

I strongly feel we're made to stumble across things. We're made to think about the age we live in, the issues confronting our times and the people we come across. I'm very honored to have been presented with a Healthy Society Award and deeply moved at what I see as a result of my gears all fitting into place.

Japan, 40 years after the United States, finally approved use and began sales of the low dose oral contraceptive, the Pill, in 1999. Some 10 years or so before that, in 1988, I began working at the Japan Family Planning Association, which was actively committed to preventing artificial termination of pregnancies. It gave me many chances to meet with women who came to the clinic for consultations worried about unwanted pregnancies. At the time, the Pill was widely approved for use around the world, but not in our Japan. I had many chances to talk to the foreign media, which was almost eagerly rushing to report on how lightly Japan regarded the sexual and reproductive health of its women. When I was told I had won this prize because of my efforts lobbying to receive approval for use of the low dose oral contraceptive, my initial thought that it wasn't because of anything I had done, but more because the women who wanted the Pill approved for use had gotten behind the typically lazy me and made me do something about it. In that regard, this prize should not be awarded to me personally, but to the many people who had an interest in this issue.

The 2003 white paper on world population has a message saying that investing in the health and rights of young people going through puberty reaps great profits for future generations. I have recently read many newspaper reports of newborns resulting from unplanned pregnancies dying after being dumped and left for dead. When I see reports of things like this, I can't help but think we are not showing enough interest in the reproductive health of our young, by doing such things as providing free checks for sexually transmitted disease or free prescriptions of the Pill, as happens in Western countries. Speaking of contraception, there is also emergency contraception vital for such women as those who have been raped, for example. This contraceptive is the last line of defense against pregnancy, which it can halt if taken within 72 hours. Throughout the world, emergency contraception is regarded along the lines of "stupid not to know about it, a crime not to let people know about it." Of United Nations members, emergency contraception has been approved for use in 192 countries. Those countries that have not approved use of emergency contraception include Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, North Korea ... and Japan. I see it as my task to ask the cooperation of everyone in attendance here today to ensure that emergency contraception is approved for use here at the earliest possible moment.

I thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me the chance to receive this award at such a wonderful ceremony as this. Thank you very much. (By Dr. Kunio Kitamura, special to the Mainichi)

SAPPORO -- Officials from Hoshioki Higashi Municipal Elementary School sought on Tuesday to reassure parents and pupils following the arrest of its vice principal on child pornography and prostitution charges.

Parents have flooded the school with calls expressing concern or offering encouragement as news of disgraced vice principal Takayuki Hosoda's involvement in the world of underage sex became clearer.

Police said Tuesday that 54-year-old Hosoda had submitted child porn to at least 26 magazines at one time or another and was making about 200,000 yen a month out of kiddy porn.

Hoshioki Higashi Principal Yoshiaki Sakamoto, meanwhile, apologized to parents, pupils and staff at a hastily convened closed doors emergency meeting at the school. He deliberately avoided using words like "child prostitution" and "sex crime," apparently to avoid alarming the children.

"I'm sure there are people who already know because of the news reports, but our vice principal is being investigated by the police and an unfortunate incident has occurred," Sakamoto told the gathering. "Please keep on doing your best with your studies."

School officials said Sakamoto met with about 25 teachers before the gathering to discuss how they would deal with Hosoda's arrest in terms of handling the school's 350 pupils. School officials said they had received phone calls complaining about the case, as well as others offering support. The school wrote an apology to parents and handed it out to pupils, with children supposed to take it home in written form tonight.

Sapporo Chuo Police Station officers said Hosoda sent indecent child porn pictures to magazines over the past seven years, reaping about 18 million yen in the process.

KOFU -- A public high school woodwind club instructor lured schoolgirls into sex by telling them it would improve their musical abilities, a court here heard.

Prosecutors told the Kofu Family Court that Yoshihito Hagiwara, 33, a manufacturer from Nirasaki, Yamanashi Prefecture, performed indecent acts on 13 schoolgirls.

"If you have sex, you're musical ability will shine," a prosecution lawyer said during Hagiwara's trial on a charge of breaking the Child Welfare Law.

Prosecutors said that Hagiwara played on the children's self-esteem, making them have doubts about their musical abilities and then swooping on them for sex.

"You've got to have sex because your music lacks oomph. I'll lend you a hand," a prosecutor said, quoting Hagiwara as telling one of the schoolgirls he lured into sex.

Prosecutors said that after Hagiwara's first conquest, he learned that making students doubt their abilities made them easy targets for sex.

Prosecutors said Hagiwara told students things such as how bad their playing abilities were and how they needed to change their bodies if they wanted to master correct breathing techniques.

When the schoolgirls became filled with doubt, Hagiwara offered his sexual services, telling the children that they needed to continue the lascivious acts with him if they wanted to maintain any improvements made, prosecutors said.

Hagiwara took charge of the woodwind club from 1998 until February this year. He was given virtual control over the entire club.

I recently received a letter that made me laugh, wondering whether the world had changed so much that people had become so sexually aggressive or that my column was starting to become useful for people. Here's the letter.

"I'm 29 years old and in the third year of being a housewife. I've got one child. I've known my husband for about 10 years, but for some reason I just don't seem to match with my husband's semen. Inside my vagina it's always itchy. And it gets even itchier if we have sex after my husband has been drinking. I've talked to several of my friends about this problem, and nobody else is going through anything like it. Is it possible our body fluids just don't get along together?"

The symptoms the woman described in her mail appear to be a case of semen allergy, an extremely rare affliction.

Semen allergy's symptoms include painful twinges in the genitals, genital soreness, hot genitals and red blotches like a rash that appear in the external areas of the sex organs. At times, a semen allergy can be discovered following sex without a condom. Putting it simply, using a condom from go to whoa is the best way to prevent a disease and thus be an effective treatment at the same time. Prevention is the best medicine.

But, what caused the semen allergy? Semen is made up of seminal fluid and prostate fluid and has sperm swimming inside it. Some recipients of ejaculated sperm (in this case, it was the woman's body) treat the presence of semen as an invasion by a foreign object. The most common explanation of why semen allergies occur is that the body that receives the semen treats it as a foreign object and reacts to try and expel it by bringing about an allergic reaction. Plainly speaking, this is either an immunological reaction or an antigen-antibody reaction. When the body's immune system brings about a reaction, it can sometimes lead to the symptoms that the woman who mailed me described.

If women experience ailments such as those described, they can seek the aid of a gynecologist, but because so few people -- sufferers and medical practitioners alike -- know much about semen allergy, there is a high likelihood of misdiagnosis, with some women being told such things as their ailment resulting from having a partner's penis that is too big for their vaginas, or having allowed insertion to occur before she is sufficiently lubricated. Some physicians may only look at the local reaction and put women through tests for such diseases as candidal vaginosis, vulvitis, genital herpes or chlamydia. While it is very important to check whether there is some sort of illness there, if the cause of the ailment is a semen allergy, then no amount of treatment for a sexually transmitted disease is going to bring about a cure.

Semen allergies can also affect more than just the genitals. A semen allergy can bring about the same reactions as hay fever, with coughing, sneezing, rashes all over the body and itchiness among its unexpected effects. Normally, these reactions would appear about 20 to 30 minutes after ejaculation and can last anywhere from hours to days. Semen allergy can also be deadly if it leads to what's called an anaphylactic shock, which is typified by breathing difficulties and plummeting blood pressure.

A simple check for a semen allergy involves applying semen to a soft part of the skin, say on the upper arm after scratching the skin, then waiting for about 20 to 30 minutes to see whether it causes redness or a rash to appear. I recommend anybody who suspects they may be allergic to give the test a try.

As I mentioned before, the best prevention and treatment for semen allergy is to use a condom at all times. Doing so, however, eliminates the possibility of pregnancy. If a couple finds themselves in the position where a woman has a semen allergy, many elect to go through the in-vitro fertilization process. (By Dr. Kunio Kitamura, special to the Mainichi)

NOTE TO READERS: Dr. Kitamura's regular "Slow Life, Slow Sex" column, which was supposed to run today, is unavailable this week. Today's story originally ran in Japanese on Oct. 1, 2004. "Slow Life, Slow Sex" and Dr. Kitamura's regular consultation column will appear on the site again as normal next Sunday, Nov. 18. We thank you for your understanding.

More than a few women come to my clinic seeking helping in dealing with husbands who have erection problems.

Many say that before they married, they would have sex every weekend they met their then boyfriends, but as soon as they married, their sex lives dried up and they became sexless.

Among the statements women have made about their pre-marital sex lives are: "We needed sex to feel better following the loneliness at being apart for a week," and "Being together in the rarified atmosphere of a hotel room intensified the feelings between us."

But, when it came to post-marital sex, these were some of the things women told me:

-- "We've got the ease of mind knowing that we can have sex any time."

-- "We can't say things for fear of offense that we didn't need to worry about when we were single."

-- "We're both holding off from pushing each other because of tiredness from our respective work demands."

-- "It's hard to get into the mood if we're always doing it in the same place."

Don't you think these are entirely natural reasons? If so, then it stands that sexlessness could be solved by working backward through the reasons why a couple stopped having sex in the first place.

Dr. Teruo Abe says the sexless can be divided into two distinct groups: those who want to have sex but can't, and those who don't need it in the first place. The woman who wrote to me a couple of weeks ago worried about her partner's ability to maintain an erection (see the link below) fits into the first group, which also includes such people as those with sex aversion, premature ejaculators and women with vaginal dryness. Erection problems can be the result of many things, for example mental causes such as stress that prevent functional erection, or physical ailments that hamper the condition such as spinal injuries, the effects of surgery, sexual hang-ups, hardening of the arteries, diabetes, high blood pressure or some other condition that affects the ability of the penis to harden properly. A third group are those whose erection problems are brought about as a side-effect of medication they are taking.

If erection problems are clearly established as a reason for sexlessness, it's possible to work toward a solution. I suggest consulting a clinic that offers treatment for problems related to sexual function.

I may be sticking my nose into people's business a bit too much, but those considering marriage should note that the prime reason given for divorce among Japanese couples is a difference in character. The real reason is said to be sexual mismatching. If a woman is not happy or satisfied with the sex she has with her partner, I recommend she give some serious thought about whether to take the plunge and tie the knot. (By Dr. Kunio Kitamura, exclusive to the Mainichi)

There's nobody who'd deny the womb has a role in the reproductive process, but when a woman says she can feel the effects of sex in her uterus, it's a bit hard to pass by unnoticed.

In the movie version of Junichi Watanabe's novel "Ai no Rukeichi," lead character Fuyuka Irie is watching a fireworks display and gushes the line: "(The sound) echoes in my womb." I'm sure I wasn't the only person who remembers the scene. For guys who don't have wombs, Fuyuka's line was extremely exciting.

There's a term called portio orgasm. The portio is the vaginal part of the cervix. It's the part underneath the endocervix that protrudes into the vagina. Perhaps it's easier to understand if I describe it as being like the face the uterus shows to the vagina.

Looking at nerve systems, about one third of all the vagina's nerves are concentrated in the exterior region and the nerves become sparser the deeper you move in. That's why most people believe the portio is not going to feel much during sex. Others argue that if the portio was as sensitive as some say, then women couldn't possibly bear the pain a baby's 10-centimeter circumference head would cause as it left the womb, rendering childbirth impossible.

Does that, therefore, mean the portio orgasm is codswallop? Actually, maybe not. There are also powerful arguments supporting the idea that a portio orgasm is brought about by the penis using the portio as a fulcrum, then stirring up the stomach and banging up against the uterus to enhance arousal. Rather than codswallop, the portio orgasm may only be a sensory illusion.

Getting a pleasant sensation in an area where scientifically there should be almost no feeling at all is yet another reason to support the idea that sex is all in the mind. Even if the man isn't thrusting, merely joining the pelvises together is going to stimulate the clitoris and increase the irresistible feeling.

As women know, this doesn't mean that the more vigorous a man's thrust, the greater pleasure she's going to feel. Men have little chance to learn properly about the structure of women's bodies and, unfortunately, for many guys the method they choose to pick up their knowledge of female private parts is through adult movies.

Some may laugh, but there have been cases where thrusting too hard has resulted in the rupturing of women's vaginal walls. Sometimes, the cases have been so severe they have required emergency surgery to stop the bleeding. In one case, the man said he kept on thrusting harder because his partner was letting out screams of ecstasy, but she was actually crying out in pain to try and get him to stop. If women reading the MDN don't tell their partners that over zealous thrusting during sex isn't the most selfish act they've ever seen, they run the risk of what could be a very embarrassing result.

Speaking of the womb, there are women's worries like uterine fibroid and uterine cancer, but please allow me to say a word about these.

The idea that those who undergo a hysterectomy can no longer enjoy sex is a myth. While I can't deny some women may feel a sense of loss, it scares me that some people may believe such a myopic concept.

Women, whether they have a womb or not, should remind themselves that sex is all in the mind, think scientifically (rationally) and positively about everything and there's no reason why they should distance themselves from sex.That's the message I -- as a doctor and a writer -- leave to you. (By Dr. Kunio Kitamura, special to the Mainichi)

Speaking in medical terms, what does it mean to come?Regardless of whether we're male or female, we humans have four stages of sexual reaction. They are excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution. The orgasm stage is what's referred to colloquially as "coming."

According to "Human Sexual Reaction, the sex "bible" report by William Masters and Virginia Johnson that I've reported on here before, an orgasm causes the outer third bulge of the external vagina and anal sphincter muscles contract four to eight times every 0.8 seconds. There's no way we can measure 0.8 seconds, so I guess it's easier to explain if I say it's that twitching sensation. The twitch during the male orgasm occurs every 0.8 seconds, too, by the way.

During the orgasm stage, both the male and female pubococcygeal muscle and pelvic floor muscle system contract rhythmically, blood pressure rises, breathing becomes quicker and the pulse increases to reach anywhere from 110 to 180 beats per minute. This feeling is often said to be like running a 100-meter sprint.

But I don't think all the focus should be on the slightly difficult problem of orgasms, instead, in my humble opinion at least, everything is all right as long as it feels good. Sex is not about the genitals, it's all about the mind, so if you're worrying about things like pregnancy or contracting a sexually transmitted disease, the orgasm is often a trifling matter.

To protect against the risk of pregnancy, there's always a birth control women can choose to use. Overcoming the threat of STDs can be done by using a condom. Either step should be a basic manner between any couple about to have sex, regardless of their age.

Well, for those couples who are interested in having an orgasm, here is "Dr. Kitamura's Seven Steps To Make a Woman Come."

* Men should not go first. Guys, you know you have a tendency to think sex is all over the moment you've ejaculated. Wrong! Ideally, both coming at the same time would be best, but if that's not possible, the woman should always come first.

* There's oral sex, which is fellatio that stimulates the male organ and cunnilingus, which is for the female organ. Either method stimulates and heightens the process toward orgasm.

* Don't think of masturbation as being dirty. As I mentioned earlier, sex is an act between two people while masturbation, especially for women, gives them a chance to explore and learn about their bodies so they know where it feels good, and can a partner tell where to work on them.

* Don't think it's only possible to come by joining the sex organs and don't forget to use your finger on the clitoris during intercourse.

* Avoid using the same position. Try out a lot of different positions together to find out which one is the best.

* Stimulating all five senses arouses the desire mechanisms, so an orgasm needs a lot of feeling. Do you gaze at your partner, accept their gaze and express clearly your feelings and emotions?

* It's important to study up on sex. Don't by any means think that sex is simply an act carried out instinctively. (By Dr. Kunio Kitamura, special to the Mainichi)

"When I was a student, every time I came close to a woman all I could think about seriously was doing her, but now in my mid-50s I've lost my sexual prowess," a classmate from my college days told me shortly after we met recently for the first time in a while. "I've got my social standing to think about, so an affair is out of the question. Besides, my wife is flat out looking after the grandkids, so she's too tired for sex anyhow. It's like the world of sex has just been left behind for me."

The classmate then turned his attention toward me as his complaints continued.

"You keep talking about this slow sex stuff, and seem to be saying that sex is all about a fusion of the genitals, but for middle-aged people like us, don't you think sex is no longer a reality? For couples barely on speaking terms in their daily lives, sex is like something that happens on another planet. I think you should be thinking more about how couples who've grown distant from sex should go about approaching the matter."

During my Slow Life, Slow Sex column, it hasn't been my intention to regard sex as merely the fusion of genitals. What I have been trying to say is that people should forget the typical ideas of sex being all about whether a guy can get erect or not or whether people have been able to come.

I've repeatedly stated that sex is all in the mind. By that, I meant that purely physical relationships are not going to bring real pleasure. Just as my college buddy pointed out, couples who don't talk much, or only engage in monosyllabic conversation if they do, are hardly likely to be thinking about sex.

But even in those cases, I'd like people to remember British zoologist Desmond Morris's 12 steps to sexual intimacy. Step one is from eyes to body. This means developing feelings based on looking at a partner's body. Step two is from eyes to eyes, where the couple gazes longingly at each other. Step three is from voice to voice, where couples are willing to tell each other things such as "I'm dazzled by your incredible beauty." The stages then move on gradually to touching as the steps go from hand to hand, from arm to shoulder, from arm to back. With each touching step, the amount of exposed flesh that comes into contact with a partner gradually increases until they slowly move toward the genitals. The seventh stage is from mouth to mouth, then on to from hand to head, from hand to body, from mouth to breasts, from hand to genitals and then finally, at the 12th and last stage, the respective genitals come into contact.

Getting through all these stages takes quite a considerable amount of time, but cutting corners is inviting trouble. Take sexually transmitted diseases, like AIDS, for example. There is data around that shows rates of STD transmission among those who have had sex with someone only after they really knew them are just one-tenth of the contraction rate among those who had sex with someone they barely knew. Having sex without a condom with someone you knew had contracted an STD is unthinkable.

But a lot of Japanese don't even think about getting to know a partner before they have sex. That often leads to having sex without anybody suggesting the use of a condom and leads to STD transmission. And it can also lead to unwanted pregnancy. Only women can get pregnant, but they should still make sure they don't adopt the irresponsible attitude of thinking that men will always take steps regarding birth control. (By Dr. Kunio Kitamura, special to the Mainichi)

Having recently been interviewed for a series by a woman's magazine, I must admit as the instigator of the Slow Life, Slow Sex column that I find the issue of the female orgasm a frustrating one.

If a woman comes to me saying that she's never climaxed, wants to know how to do so and feels really sorry for her male partner, it really grates one -- "it's not like you're studying how to use verbs properly," I think to myself.

To be honest, I kinda find it hard to work out why so many people are fussed about coming in the first place. Since sex is something going on between other people, I often wonder why they can't just chill out and regard the orgasm as a dream. It's because I believe this that I find talk of women faking orgasms to be really sad.

I guess the fixation with orgasms arises because there isn't enough communication between the sexes. There are times when people don't want to make love and on those occasions people should be prepared to openly say what they are feeling, say something along the lines of "I'm not feeling up to it today, so let's give it a miss," or the like. And if a guy still forces himself on a woman after she's said that, it's nothing but rape.

If couples aren't prepared to go through such a simple conversation yet will romp around together in the nude, then they're opening themselves up to the possibility of unwanted pregnancy or transmission of sexual diseases.

I think we should ask the question of what sex is really all about. Whenever I'm asked this question, my reply is always that it's an act that leads to the liberation of the ego. Our egos are located in our most primitive parts and, because we're forced to live in societies, we must deal with society in a rational, social manner displaying common sense. We've got to wear an incredibly thick suit of armor to get through all this. If we didn't have this, society would be an absolute shambles. We couldn't possibly allow people to walk around naked doing whatever they liked. In the same way, we can't just have sex wherever we like without worrying about other people. Those who may get that instinctive urge have to use their common sense and rationality to make sure they can do that.

Being able to accept that limitation is part and parcel of living in a society. But with sex, things are different. While having sex, you move into the world of ego where rationality, common sense and sociability are all thrown to the wind. That's what makes sex fun. And pleasurable. And that's what makes it difficult to think about the downsides like unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

But sex carries those sorts of risks with it. I'm going a bit over the top here, but having a bit of a casual romp without really knowing what your partner is like could, in an absolutely worst case scenario, even end up in murder.

Considering all this, for "sex with happiness" to materialize there needs to be a lot of advance preparation because, after all, you're both going to be putting your ego out on display for the other person to see in its entirety. When I say preparation, I'm actually talking about each of the parties involved being willing to understand what their partner wants. There's little room for faking. (By Dr. Kunio Kitamura, special to the Mainichi)

Did you know that women can take the Pill right through their lives until reaching menopause, provided that they have no medical problems such as high blood pressure or diabetes? I also recommend intra-uterine devices. These can be inserted painlessly if the woman has been pregnant at least once.

Recently, women who have complained of excessive menstrual blood or period pain have been prescribed with what I call an intra-uterine birth control system, which is a combination of the Pill and an IUD and has been highly rated by those who've adopted it. Either way, they'll need to see a gynecologist to get them. And if a woman wants to go really out on a limb regarding birth control, there is always sterilization as a last resort to protect herself.

So, how do you know when you no longer need to use birth control?

The answer to that question lies in deciding correctly whether menstruation has ceased or not. A Japan Society of Obstetrics and Gynecology glossary defines menopause as being the state where a woman has passed her period of sexual maturity, her ovulation cycle has ended and menstruation ceased forever. However, it's really hard to determine at that time whether menstruation has actually ended, so the only sure way to know is if there has not been a period for at least 12 months or estrogen withdrawal bleeding cannot be recognized even after a dose of progestational hormones.

Incidentally, the most common age for a Japanese woman to reach menopause is 50 years, six months, but the normal period is usually any age from 45 to 56. As long as a sexually active woman does not meet the conditions for having gone through menopause, birth control is something she should always keep on her mind, regardless of the amount of sex she's having.

Personally, I don't blindly condemn abortion. There's not a woman with an unwanted pregnancy who wanted to get that way and no woman undergoes an abortion for fun. But until there is a 100 percent effective method of birth control, pregnancy is something that can happen in an instant to any sexually active woman. Sometimes that pregnancy can be unintended, and there are occasions where pregnancy can place such enormous burdens on a woman's body that termination is the only option available. Nobody can criticize in such cases.

Even so, Japanese women unfortunately have a repeat abortion rate of 23.6 percent. While any experience is good experience, it's hard to feel that way when it comes to people who repeatedly make the same mistakes when it comes to birth control. What really should happen is that doctors or nursing staff involved in abortions send patients away with good advice about birth control so that they never need their help again. What tends to happen, though, is that the abortion patient leaves a clinic with the message that they're always welcome to return if something unexpected pops up again in the future. That "something unexpected popping up" usually means another unwanted pregnancy, and cases like that are infuriating for me.

Having said that, I would like women who undergo abortions to take matters into their own hands and ask medical staff if they can provide her with a surefire birth control method to prevent future unwanted pregnancies. Rather than be passive and wait for somebody else to prod them into action, I'd like women to be firm with expressing their own will. (By Dr. Kunio Kitamura, special to the Mainichi)Slow Life, Slow Sex: Pregnancy in middle age far from inconceivable.

Did you know that women can take the Pill right through their lives until reaching menopause, provided that they have no medical problems such as high blood pressure or diabetes? I also recommend intra-uterine devices. These can be inserted painlessly if the woman has been pregnant at least once.

Recently, women who have complained of excessive menstrual blood or period pain have been prescribed with what I call an intra-uterine birth control system, which is a combination of the Pill and an IUD and has been highly rated by those who've adopted it. Either way, they'll need to see a gynecologist to get them. And if a woman wants to go really out on a limb regarding birth control, there is always sterilization as a last resort to protect herself.

So, how do you know when you no longer need to use birth control?

The answer to that question lies in deciding correctly whether menstruation has ceased or not. A Japan Society of Obstetrics and Gynecology glossary defines menopause as being the state where a woman has passed her period of sexual maturity, her ovulation cycle has ended and menstruation ceased forever. However, it's really hard to determine at that time whether menstruation has actually ended, so the only sure way to know is if there has not been a period for at least 12 months or estrogen withdrawal bleeding cannot be recognized even after a dose of progestational hormones.

Incidentally, the most common age for a Japanese woman to reach menopause is 50 years, six months, but the normal period is usually any age from 45 to 56. As long as a sexually active woman does not meet the conditions for having gone through menopause, birth control is something she should always keep on her mind, regardless of the amount of sex she's having.

Personally, I don't blindly condemn abortion. There's not a woman with an unwanted pregnancy who wanted to get that way and no woman undergoes an abortion for fun. But until there is a 100 percent effective method of birth control, pregnancy is something that can happen in an instant to any sexually active woman. Sometimes that pregnancy can be unintended, and there are occasions where pregnancy can place such enormous burdens on a woman's body that termination is the only option available. Nobody can criticize in such cases.

Even so, Japanese women unfortunately have a repeat abortion rate of 23.6 percent. While any experience is good experience, it's hard to feel that way when it comes to people who repeatedly make the same mistakes when it comes to birth control. What really should happen is that doctors or nursing staff involved in abortions send patients away with good advice about birth control so that they never need their help again. What tends to happen, though, is that the abortion patient leaves a clinic with the message that they're always welcome to return if something unexpected pops up again in the future. That "something unexpected popping up" usually means another unwanted pregnancy, and cases like that are infuriating for me.

Having said that, I would like women who undergo abortions to take matters into their own hands and ask medical staff if they can provide her with a surefire birth control method to prevent future unwanted pregnancies. Rather than be passive and wait for somebody else to prod them into action, I'd like women to be firm with expressing their own will. (By Dr. Kunio Kitamura, special to the Mainichi)

It's well-known that varying male and female sexual response has a very close association with the brain.

As is commonly know, the brain is divided into two hemispheres, the "right brain" and the "left brain". The right side of the brain controls hand and eye functions, while the left is in charge of speech. When the left side of the brain receives a large dose of male hormones, its functionality declines. That's why men can't chat away madly during sex. All they can do is keep on moving their bodies. On the other hand, for women, where the left brain takes priority, they can speak and well as let their voice ring out. When women try and get their men to spend a little time whispering sweet nothings to them while making love, they may literally be asking for the impossible.

Differences in male and female sexual response are influenced by the arousal nerves, one of which is the sexual polarization nucleus, located in the brain's hypothalamus. The sexual polarization nucleus in men is double the size that of women. Perhaps the male ability to become easily aroused through stimulation of the senses of sight and smell compared to the woman's need to be touched may have something to do with the different way their brains are structured. While men can become pleased rapidly, they also cool down quickly, which sometimes leads to them feeling uncomfortable at being touched after ejaculation. It's a major difference to women, who gradually cool down after orgasm.

Ryuichi Kaneko, one of my co-authors in the book "Sekkusu no Subete ga Wakaru Hon (All About Sex," wrote about how the brain affects male and female orgasm. Kaneko wrote how watching pornography shows a clear difference between male and female response. He pointed out the results of an experiment where men and women were shown a pornographic movie and their arousal level differed. Women who knew in advance that they were going to be shown a blue movie were aroused in advance, but changed little on seeing the film. Men showed little response when told they were going to watch a pornographic movie, but became aroused quickly once the action started on screen.

The mental side of sex is clearly more important for women than men, while males have a stronger need for the immediacy symbolized by the erection.

Brain waves also display these differences. Frequencies measured during scientific tests of orgasms show theta waves of 6 to 7 Hertz. This is about the same level as marathoners enjoying a "runners' high." If theta waves are to be the measuring stick of pleasure, a woman's brain at the time of orgasm is filled with them across its entirety and the period when theta waves are active in women's brain is almost 10 times more than for a man. Judging by theta waves at the time of orgasm, women experience a pleasure incomparable to that felt by men.

Putting it crudely, were a man to experience an orgasm like a woman's, the shock to his brain could kill him. Of course, no man has ever experienced that, naturally, because men can never be women. However, as my co-author Kaneko points out, there are transgendered people (those whose bodies are male but brains female or bodies female and brains male) who have undergone gender transformation surgery who have spoken about the incredible pleasure they have gained from sex as women.

Neither men nor women can ever truly know what sex feels like for the opposite gender. Perhaps that means when they ask each other if something feels good or not, they're actually imagining what it would be like for the other sex so they can help themselves get aroused. (By Dr. Kunio Kitamura, special to the Mainichi)

"It's not like he can't get hard, and it looks like he does it when he's by himself, but he never prompts me for sex," Mari, a 23-year-old woman dating her old boss, a man 22 years her senior, tells me in a letter asking for help because her divorced partner shows no interest in sex when they sleep together at home or at a hotel.

I'll put it simply by saying that rather than waste a valuable day in a vitally important life by keeping all these dark feelings locked up inside herself, why doesn't she just come right out and ask him? She says it's not like her boyfriend has no interest in sex and wonders if he's simply not interested in her. If she asked him that, Mari might also find her own behavior changing, depending on his answers. I find it baffling why a couple who will go to bed together still struggle to conduct a simple conversation. I'm also worried that if Mari does get her wish to have sex with her boyfriend as much as she wants, will she eventually end up worrying to herself about the prospect of an unwanted pregnancy or contraction of a sexually transmitted disease.

If Mari is unable to ask her boyfriend directly why he won't have sex with her when she wants it, maybe I can suggest a few possible reasons, though I don't know whether they'll be of much help to her.

Maybe he's scared of sex. Many women believe that when a man has sex with them, he's showing her that he loves her. There's a 22-year age gap. Mari is still filled with unlimited possibilities. Having sex means making it unavoidable to run away from responsibilities. I dare not mention why her boyfriend divorced, but ending his marriage was dozens of times more stressful than starting it. Her boyfriend may be thinking that he's finally got his divorce and doesn't want to get bound up with another woman, which makes him wary of sex.

Or perhaps Mari's boyfriend really thinks she's precious. Having sex means never discarding the possibility that it may result in an unwanted pregnancy or an STD. The boyfriend has divorced his wife, so there's no problem with him seeing Mari, but if he doesn't know whether he has an STD, maybe he hasn't totally split from her at all. If you consider that he may have had sex with other women aside from his wife, the possibility of him having an STD is even greater. He may be thinking of Mari, who has never been married, and be reluctant to go all the way because of fears of an unwelcome reminder he may leave with her afterward. Don't laugh when I say that there are guys out there who don't want to seek sex from you because they regard you very highly.

He's 45. At his age, there's nothing strange about him taking it easy when it comes to sex. His sex drive won't be what it was when he was young and virile. He may even be getting sick of the whole sex thing. Masturbation and sex both carry the same expectation of ending in ejaculation, so the option where there is no worry of unwanted pregnancy or STD and no need to show consideration about whether a partner comes or not makes doing it yourself an attractive way of dealing with sexual urges. This is why there are many men and women in this world who masturbate regardless of whether they have a partner or not.

Saying this may be hurtful to Mari. But her boyfriend is divorced, which means there's nobody waiting for him when he heads home. Mari may well mean nothing more to him than someone who relieves his loneliness. And because she likes him, if anything does go wrong, he can always escape by pointing out that she chose to be with him. Perhaps he is thinking that Mari is around at the moment, which is convenient for him, but when he meets a woman he is willing to take responsibility for, he can quickly give Mari the flick. I'm sorry to point out that sneaky types like this exist, but unfortunately that's the reality in some cases. (By Dr. Kunio Kitamura, special to the Mainichi)

A 29-year-old woman writes to me, telling me how she hasn't had sex for over a year with the devoted boyfriend she has lived with for the past three years.

"We sometimes try to have sex, but he always loses his erection before he sticks it in. He says it's only a temporary thing and he'll soon get better, but I'd feel better for both our futures if he'd get a doctor to check him out," she says.

The Japanese Society for Sexual Medicine defines sexlessness as being when a couple has gone without sexual contact for at least one month without extenuating circumstances, and the likelihood of having sex in the future remaining unforeseeable. Sexual contact can be anything from petting to oral sex to lying naked in bed with someone else, so it doesn't necessarily mean coitus: as long as there is some degree of physical contact, it's not really possible to say a couple is sexless.

But, as far as I could tell from the woman's letter, it's not really possible to say whether she and her boyfriend have any sexual contact, even if they do go everywhere together. But as she says they haven't had sex for more than a year, it's only natural that she has worries about the future of a relationship she says is entering the marriage preparation stage.

According to a 2001 online survey the Asahi Shimbun newspaper conducted on the sex lives of 1,000 couples, the main reasons sexless couples gave for their condition were:

"It's a bother" (20.5 percent);

"Too tired from work" (15.7 percent);

"Sex disappeared following childbirth" (15.7 percent);

"Hobbies are more fun" (9.6 percent); and,

"I've come to feel like my partner has become more like a blood relative" (7.2 percent).

Even though the woman who contacted me still hasn't married her long-time boyfriend, they have lived together for three years, so they are well accustomed to daily life together. I wonder whether one of these factors mentioned above hasn't come into play in their relationship? (By Dr. Kunio Kitamura, exclusive to the Mainichi)

Since a January report that a 67-year-old woman had given birth through in-vitro fertilization, I've had an increase in calls from middle-aged women seeking my advice about emergency contraception. Most of them tell me that they'd thought they had already said good-bye to the days of pregnancy.

Normally, at 65, pregnancy is impossible. The 67-year-old mother is most likely to have had a frozen embryo placed in her womb. It must have been an enormous task for her physicians to get her endometrium, the lining of her uterus, in working order again. Menopause stops the ovaries from working and the ovulation cycle ends.

However, it has proven that endometrium reacts to external female hormone, and that women can get pregnant at advanced ages if doctors are successful in in-vitro fertilization and embryo transplantation.

Incidentally, government statistics show that in 2005, there were 598 births in Japan where the mother was 45 or older. Of these, 34 mothers were at least 50. That figure almost corresponds with the 42 moms who were 14 or younger. Where there was outcry over a TV drama that featured a 14-year-old mother, though, nobody has made a program about a 55-year-old mom, even though such an event is quite possible.

Imagine making a TV show about it. I can see the opening scene now: There's a group of kids playing in a park with an obviously pregnant woman enjoying herself as she watches over them. The kids turn and talk to her, with one saying: "Hey grandma, how about playing with us?"

Time passes, and the next scene sees the 55-year-old woman up on the delivery table as she battles through labor pains. Eventually, she gives birth to a baby weighing 3,000 grams. Her faces scrounges up with tears as she looks down and sees how gorgeous her child is. It's already been 30 years since she had her third child. She looks up and sees gathered around the delivery table her husband, daughter and two grandchildren. One of the grandkids says, "Grandma, congratulations!"

According to the World Health Organization, in 2006 the average lifespan of Japanese women was 86 years, the longest in the world. Scenes with a 50-something mother in my imaginary drama are by no means unrealistic, but an even closer reality is anybody of that age getting pregnant aborting it. In the same year, Japan witnessed 1,691 abortions among women 45 or over. Take into account women 40 or over who aborted a pregnancy and the number skyrockets to 21,010 (2005 figures). Anybody not surprised by this figure probably needs a bit more of an explanation, and I'll give it to you.

There's a measurement called the Pregnancy Index, which is a combination of the number of births and the number of abortions. Look at the abortion rate by age, and it shows that artificial termination of pregnancies is clearly not just a problem of youth. The abortion rate is lowest among women aged 30 to 34, at 12.9 percent, followed by 15 percent among those from 25 to 29, 23.1 percent in the 35 to 39 age group, 36 percent in the 20 to 24 group and 64.3 percent among teens from 15 to 19. These figures clearly reflect a country where there is a strong social inclination not to give birth to children without being married.

But it seems that members of the middle-aged generation also have a tendency to choose not to give birth even if they are married. The abortion rate among women aged 40 to 44 who fall pregnant is 49.4 percent, 74.7 percent if she is 45 to 49 and 45.2 percent if 50 or over. It clearly shows that more mature women simply don't want to go through the various rigors of pregnancy.

Sex in the middle-aged is not a matter of quantity. And it doesn't normally have the tension or confusion that it did during puberty, either. But there is no excuse for a sexually active middle-aged adult to say they don't know anything about contraception. But if women leave birth control up to men, they're going to get condoms at best and often only the withdrawal method. Is i